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Stay or go – making decisions

October 24, 2013
inb-coach, b-mail, b-Pilates, b-train
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One of the reoccurring themes my clients, friends and colleagues bring to me are tough, sticky decisions that they are struggling to make. What causes their indecision can be a mixture of things: fear, impact on others or aspects of their lives, cash, time, ease of doing nothing and often, simply not knowing what they really want.

The good news is we all make 1000s of decisions every day, every minute, every second. And for the vast majority of time, things turn out right. Yes, sometimes things go bad for a while, but ultimately things will go right…really right.

Our brains rely on what they’ve seen, heard and done before. That childhood memory of falling off your bike. An article in a newspaper. The slogan of a famous brand. A friend’s comment on your new shirt. Plus all the rest and it stores them all up just in case each titbit can help you make some future decision.

I want to share a framework I use myself and with my coachees and  delegates: Head, Heart and Hands.

Head – the centre of logic and objectivity.

Ask your head what is its reaction? Can you write out the pros and cons of the decision? Can you state facts or evidence to support or squash the decision in front of you? Is there an expert to consult?

Heart – the centre of emotion and subjectivity.

Is your heart bumping with excitement or fear? How would you feel if you decide one way or the other – happy, peaceful and calm or regret, guilt and sadness? Would you want to shout it from the roof tops or hide it away in shame? Can you measure the decision positively against your core values and beliefs?

Hands – the centre of action and doing.

Can you see yourself in the midst of your decision fully motivated and energised? Does the decision enable you to be your best you, using all your talents and passions? Are you itching to get started or running to hide behind the curtains?

You need harmony and agreement between them all or to be able to acknowledge the disagreement and mitigate it. For example, is that shiny new role going to involve a task or attribute that you’re not super keen on – will it kill your “joie de vie” or would it be bearable for a while to achieve your bigger goal?

What are you making decisions about this week? Any you’re really  wrangling with? Maybe I can help. Give me a shout, drop me a line or maybe you have a cool technique or strategy for tough decisions, share it in the comments.

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smell your roses – gratitude for what you’ve got

October 10, 2013
inb-coach, b-mail, b-Pilates, b-train
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Over the last few weeks, lots of people around me in person and online are talking about gratitude. It’s catching – I’ve been at it too; with clients, friends and even posting photos on my Facebook timelines about it.

What I’ve noticed is when they do it a big fat grin spreads across their face. They seem more alive, more in the moment and more radiant.

How’s it work? One of my favourite people taught me this “energy flows, where attention goes” – thank you Carol x. By recognising what you have to be grateful for in your life, the people around you, inside you and so on turns your attention to these small, but significant pieces of happiness in your life. And small things when brought together make a huge, ginormous collection of wonderful things.

Your energy gets poured into enjoying and cherishing the positives in your life, rather than dwelling on the negatives. The head and the heart take pleasure in this; your mood improves, your energy levels increase to tackle the next thing.

Here’s a glimpse of what’s in my collection right now:

  • Opportunity to learn with likeminded people
  • Collaborating with inspiring people on great client projects
  • A big bunch of my favourite bluey purple hydrangeas

my favourites

  • Having my dinner made for me after a hard, long day
  • My new business cards looking so cute
  • Finding our new wall calendar for 2014 on etsy
  • Enormous smiles on whatsapp from our goddaughter
  • Giving my sister an a-ha moment
  • Oh and how could I forget my sneakers – love, love, love them, but guess you already know that 🙂

Post by b-elastic.

 

Wow even writing that list has made me feel more awake than any coffee or green smoothie could. Why don’t you try it? Take a couple of minutes each day and ask yourself what are you grateful for right now?

Help yourself over that mid-afternoon slump, build momentum to complete a daunting task or person and for moving towards that life stretch you desire.

Create a visual prompt – like this beautiful desktop wallpaper – each time you close down your docs, spread sheets and email, take a split second to count one rose. (This is by the lovely Nicole Wise Sturt) Or use a journal by your bedside to jot your gems down. Why not make a pinterest board?

And to get you rolling, why not share yours in the comments or on the Facebook page?

PS 2 more for my list – I’m grateful to share my b-mails with you and your reading them xx

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be the real authentic you!

September 5, 2013
inb-coach, b-mail
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Over the years, I’ve taken stacks of courses, workshops, seminars and the like. I find it impossible to encourage others to learn and grow, if I’m not doing it myself. I’m delighted to have a well stocked “kit bag” to dip into. Nothing goes in without my explicit approval.

I often get asked why I bother. Surely I’ve got enough to work with by now? Others might say “yes, you bet I do”, but they’re not me. My answer is “nope, not if I’m to be authentic”. I hold myself up as an example of personal growth and change to my clients, tribe and peers but I’m by no means perfect, nor does it always come easy! I’ve got ambitions and I need to continue to change and stretch myself to get them cracked.

b-elastic came about as a platform to support individuals and groups to explore their purpose in life and career, discover their joys and overcome their pains as they moved to achieving and living their purpose. I combine my love of coaching, training and Pilates to do that. And to be authentic, I invest in my own knowledge, practice and skills to bring more to my clients’ personal change journeys as well as my own.

So this week, no tips, no theory or tools to try out. I invite you to invest in your stretch by pondering a few questions about being the real you and committing to amplifying your authenticity this week. Take some notes, draw a picture or create a mindmap as a memory aid and motivator – put it somewhere you’ll see it every day to keep your motivation.

Your 4 short questions to ponder:

  1. What does authentic mean to you?
  2. How do you live up to your definition of authentic?
  3. List out what you can do to dial up your authenticity
  4. Pick 3 things from your list to do this week – one your head says “doh obvious!”, one that makes your heart sing for joy and one for today to get you started!

Hold yourself accountable for your own authentic change or why not use the comments below or our Facebook page as your accountability partner? Post your 3 actions and I’ll be there to support and cheerlead you through an even more authentic week!

If those questions get you in a spin, why not get in touch? I love helping you explore purpose, goals and ambitions – this type of dilemma is perfect for coaching with me!

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