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can’t get no satisfaction? make the change

February 20, 2014
inb-coach, b-mail, b-Pilates, b-train
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How are you doing today? Good day was it? Had fun? Spent time with great people? Got to do some rewarding work? Oh dear! I’m so sorry to hear it wasn’t all that you had hoped for – maybe tomorrow will be better…….

OK you know me. I can’t leave it at that. I want to help you make a change to give you satisfaction each and every day.

The Oxford English Dictionary gives the definition of satisfaction as:

NOUN

1. Fulfilment of one’s wishes, expectations, or needs, or the pleasure derived from this:

“I looked round with satisfaction”

“Managing Directors seeking greater job satisfaction”

Let’s take the first part – having your wishes, expectations or needs met. Are you clear on what yours are? No? Try these questions to uncover them (for your life, career or any area of dissatisfaction):

  • If cash, time and help were unlimited, what would you want to do/to be/to have? (delete as appropriate)
  • What would you expect to give or share?
  • What would you expect in return?
  • How would doing or being this make you feel?
  • Who do you want involved?

Now, analyse your reality:

  • How does today match your identified wishes, expectations and needs?
  • How does today mismatch your identified wishes, expectations and needs?

This should provide you with what you should stick with – where you are getting some satisfaction – and what needs to change – where you’re not getting any satisfaction.

You’ve now got 2 choices.

Do nothing

Accept your lot. Live with it. Put up with the itch. Breathe through your frustrations. Wipe away those tears. Settle for a life less than ideal. Suck it up.

You know my opinion on this one. I’ve worked with clients, who on the brink of taking action, back out, hold back and decide they’ll just wait awhile and see if things improve. Sadly, I’ve yet to hear of this playing out to the extent that a client’s wishes, expectations and needs are fully met. Yeah maybe it gets a bit less sore for a short time, but then that nagging feeling is back…..only this time it’s worse.

I knew I wanted to run my own business way back in the last millennium. At that time, I knew it would involve working with people who shared my values and beliefs as well as my passion for enabling others to live a better life. I thought that was going to be a centre, a place where you could train, be counselled, massaged, talk, meet, socialise and more.

Then my relationship fell apart. I had to move out. I needed my job to pay my bills – how could I possibly go it alone and set-up a business? I took a new path. I worked my a** off to get a promotion and pay rise. I dropped a day at work and could still cover the bills, as well as studying part-time to teach Pilates. Then I switched jobs to a better paid firm and squirrelled away my cash to create a safety net savings account.

My vision changed track – I no longer want to run a centre. It’s too far from the action for me I now realise. I enjoy and thrive in the heart of it, right there in it with you. b-elastic was born and I’m loving it!

Go on – stretch your life!

Take that list you made earlier and work out your path to satisfaction – each building block, each skill, each piece of knowledge, each helping hand, each ££ or $$ – that will get you to a fully satisfied way of being and doing. Your path could include:

  • doing something different
  • stopping something
  • spending less time with someone or a group
  • devoting more time to someone or a group
  • trying a new route, like I did.

Then get moving. Take the first step and you’ll build momentum to complete it, begin the next and the next and the next.

Hmmm, not feeling ready to start tomorrow? Don’t go it alone – take a friend. Ask someone who has your best interests at heart to hold you accountable, to check in with you, to join you to drown out the sorrows and celebrate your successes! Or contact a role model who has walked the same or a similar path to yours and can mentor you. Or why not ask a coach?

You want to work with me? Fab! You can check out my coaching packages or drop me a line.

Can’t afford my rates right now? My birthday competition closes at 12 noon on Thursday 20th February. ENTER NOW for the chance to win one of 3 coaching packages worth £900+ or drop me a line as I’m looking to start a few group coaching programmes around common issues – career change, life goals, fitness goals and the like – these will be a more cost effective way to work with me.

This week, let us know in the comments how you are getting more satisfaction in your day. Big or small – share away as you’ll inspire someone else to take their first step too.

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Are you a Life, Career or Design it yourself Changer?

February 13, 2014
inb-coach, b-mail, b-Pilates, b-train
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Since launching my birthday competition last week, I’ve had a question from a b-mailer:

“I know I want a change in my life. Can you tell me more about Life Changers, Career Changers and Design it yourself Changers?”

Thank you for sending your question in! Let me take them in turn:

Life Changers are those of you looking to transform your attitude or mindset, shift your work/life balance, step up your confidence or self-belief. They might also be intrigued by their values, beliefs and their interactions with others. Life Changer clients have included mums returning to their workplaces to find their peers have moved on, people who have experienced a significant life episode (e.g. illness, bereavement or accident) and those who find themselves lacking energy and motivation as their lives are missing a sense of purpose. Within this type of coaching, I use various reflection techniques, assessment tools and psychometrics where appropriate.

Career Changers usually split into two distinct groups. Firstly, those who know which career path they are following and seeking to take the next step – perhaps a promotion or lateral move within their existing employer or alternatively, moving to a new employer, region or industry. The second group are people wanting to explore potential new career paths, more fulfilling roles or employers or ways of working such as freelancing or entrepreneurism. I’ve worked with these clients to uncover their signature talents and strengths, marry work with their values and ethics as well as building brand statements and marketing collateral (CVs, cover letters, LinkedIn profiles, social media profiles, etc.)

Design it yourself Changers are focussed on very specific changes, so it’s super tricky to give you a “definitive” answer. Here’s two examples to give you a flavour:

  • Eric wanted to improve his business presentations to get more sales. However he recognised that at the front of those panelled conference rooms, he often lacked passion and animation in his delivery. This resulted in bored faces and Eric’s confidence being knocked. Together, we developed his verbal skills, his audience interactions AND ditched his soundtrack that professionals don’t share their emotions (aka in his mind, passion!). How? Coaching sessions, homework inquires and some unusual rehearsals and new learning (think Speakers’ Corner in Hyde Park and improv exercises).
  • Fiona was struggling to shift some old baggage from her childhood. A throwaway comment from a maths teacher was impacting Fiona’s adult life – in her head, she continued to hear “You’re not worth the effort”. She’d sidestepped projects, fallen out of love and struggled to share her opinion or thoughts. Having identified this script, we worked to re-evaluate its validity, the teacher’s importance and Fiona’s application of it in all circumstances. With my support, Fiona built a set of more supportive, helpful scripts allowing her to ask for new responsibilities at work, join an evening class and tell the waiter her starter wasn’t alright without blushing.

I hope those descriptions help you select which type of Changer programme you’d like to enter my competition to win. If you’ve got more questions, do give me a shout via Facebook or the get in touch page.

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smart repetition achieves better results

January 9, 2014
inb-coach, b-mail, b-Pilates, b-train
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I’ve been hooked into my own 2014 planning and goals over the last few weeks as you know, but I’ve had these two sayings running around my head:

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got.”

Now, you also know I like a gooooooood stretch and that I’m one for working hard until you crack something. Both sayings suggest getting stuck in a loop, doing the same thing on repeat, getting identical outcomes, unable to move towards your goal. These sayings seem to contradict my mantra of “stretch your life”, which is about moving towards your goals through doing new things AND being persistence in your efforts. Aaaahhh, that’s why they’re bothering me.

I want to propose an alternative interpretation. To achieve the life, career, business or health you want, often there is no “do it once” fix all solution. Rather your achievement is a series of steps. You will need to work hard at each step until you achieve your better results. This could be through simple, identical repetition or by trying the step in different ways, seeking out the approach that works for you.

For example if you’re a career changer, you might send your CV off to numerous job adverts. That’s one method to getting a new job and it can work. This is where the sayings come into play. You might get different results from different applications – “come to interview” vs. “no thank you” responses – but would you use just this one approach over and over again until you land your dream job?

No. More than likely you might also use online tools like LinkedIn or about.me to promote your skills and experiences to the market. Perhaps you’d attend networking events through your professional body or meetup.com to get known by people doing what you want to do. Or join a class to build or refresh your capabilities. Similarly, life, health or business changers need to blend their approaches and be diligence in their efforts to maximise their results.

In summary, added stretch and change to your life is a combination of knowing what you want, recognising when to do the same thing again or when to do something different to improve the results you’re getting AND a passionate dedication to achieving your goals.

I’m starting 2014 practicing what I preach by changing up my knee rehab. The turbo trainer sessions require more repeats to perfect my muscles (can’t tell you how good being back on a bike feels!) and I’ve switch to dry needling with the lovely Hayden at Physio in the City, from soft tissue massage on my leg. As a complete “pass out at the sight of a needle”-phobic, this is really big for me! Session one went well, even if I did do some funny breathing! The results? 4 tiny fingerprint bruises and zero pain! Wahooo!

How are you doing the same things and the different things to achieve your goals, ambitions and dreams? Inspire us in the comments or over on Facebook.

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Get ready for your new year: Activate 2014

December 26, 2013
inb-coach, b-mail, b-Pilates, b-train
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Yes the time is here – 2013 is nearly over and your final worksheet in your 4 part review, analyse, prioritise and action plan for your amazing year ahead is now available!

Take time to remove any possibility of overwhelm and manage out risk by chunking up in this worksheet. Then you’ll map out your methods for tackling challenges and hiccups before hitting your diary or my lovely planners to schedule your year as an action plan.

Download the full series here:

And 3 additional bonus downloads: a month, week and day planner to support you throughout 2014 in achieving and hopefully, exceeding your goals, dreams and expectations for the year. Obviously, they do “what they say on the can” – they let you plan out your goals across time plus they frame some useful additional questions to really give you a boost!

I’m so excited for you and your 2014 – I’d love to hear how using these worksheets has enabled you to gain clarity, understanding and drive for your new year’s goals and aspirations. Hold yourself to account in the comments – what are you going to do in 2014 and by when?

P.S. don’t forget to share the worksheets with others, use this clever little link for ease 🙂

 

 

 

 

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Get ready for your new year: Prioritise 2013

December 19, 2013
inb-coach, b-mail, b-Pilates, b-train
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How are your Christmas preparations coming along? Here’s mine: decide what to bake for my family, go to the market, bake cookies, brownies, cheesy scones, yummy nutty mushroom loafs (2 of those) and Christmas muffins then wrap presents, do the laundry, change the beds, pack bags and if we get chance put up the tree! Oh the glamour! And fit in time with my girlfriend to get our nails done (aka gossip time) and birthday lunch with my boy! 🙂

Sound familiar? Lots to get done, yet not much time to do it? Prioritisation is the only way – but how? By chronology? By your level of desire? By ease? (or difficulty?). Hmmm tricky.

Worksheet 3 “Prioritise 2014” will help you do just that for your 2014 goals by developing your outputs in the first two worksheets (Say what? Not downloaded them? You can play catch up here: Goodbye 2013 and Decode 2013). Inside you’ll find exercises to playfully stretch your 2014 aspirations and a chance to layer on a spot of reality before working to building and aligning your goals to your values and beliefs. To wrap it all up, you’ll prioritise your goals.

Download your copy here: Get ready for your new year: Prioritise 2014

I’d love for you to share one of your goals in the comments and how you’re feeling about starting 2014? “Activate 2014” will be out on 26th December – b-mail subscribers get it first, so sign-up in the little green box (top right on browsers) to ensure it lands safely in your inbox!

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