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back to work tension – keep that summer feeling!

August 29, 2013
inb-coach, b-mail, b-Pilates
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Boooo the end of the summer is round the corner and most of us will be back into the office, until our next break. Can you feel the work tension rising? From your lower back, between your shoulders, up your neck until your head is being squished. Not great. Terrible, in fact. Let’s stop it now.

Are you sitting properly? Both feet on the floor? Bum back in the seat pad? Hands and wrists supported on your desk or chair arms? These 3 things can help you protect your lower back and neck from tension, stiffness and that horrid tightness. I’ll ask again, are you sitting properly? Move it buster.

Take regular breaks – get up, move around, trot up and down the stairs, make a brew for your colleagues, look out a window, breath deeply. Just don’t be that annoying person who interrupts me cos they’re on a break 🙂

Frame your desk with memories of good times. A snapshot or postcard, a stone off your beach, theatre tickets, menu of a fab meal. No office is so uptight, you can’t keep these somewhere to look at to boost your mood and energy (desk drawer, inside your note book, screensaver, scanned document, be creative!)

And with my Pilates hat on, try these simple neck stretches:

1)   D-shape cycles: Look straight ahead, turn your head to the left, roll your gaze down in an arc to look at your knees/toes, keep rolling up until you’re looking to the right. Turn to the front and go again. Repeat in both directions. You’re effectively drawing a D on its tummy, a horizontal straight line and a semi-circle.

2)   Neck side stretch: put your finger on your chin, this is the unmovable, absolute centre of a circle. Then rotate about this point with your nose drawing an arc, as you lower your ear to your shoulder. You’ll get a lovely stretch from the opposite ear to the point of your opposite shoulder. Hold for a few breaths and come back up to the start. Repeat both sides.

Keep going, recognise when you’re getting stressed, the earlier you tackle it, the less likely you’re gonna get it bad.  Our next holidays will be here before we know it!

If you’d like to change your reaction – physical or emotional – to tension and stress, I’d be delighted to help. I’ve successfully worked with clients to change their reactions to triggers and develop new practices, so get in touch.

How do you stop tension in its tracks? Do tell me below how you are going to prolong your summer feeling.

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comfortably uncomfortable – your brain’s reaction to change

August 22, 2013
inb-coach, b-mail, b-Pilates, b-train
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This was a phrase I’ve picked up from an innovation trainer. He said, “to unlearn old ways of thinking and learn new ones, you need to get comfortably uncomfortable.” I had to ponder this one. We’ve all heard the statement about when you step outside your comfort zone, that’s where you really grow. Yet we rarely hear about how that can make us feel. Somehow this new description really grabs me – doing something new or different to your norms can really make you feel a touch anxious or scared.

Why does this happen? The part of your brain for complex thinking is called the prefrontal cortex and sits just behind your forehead. It is accessed via the amygdala, the emotional centre. Let’s look at an example – you decide to try a new fitness plan or start a new course or take a new job (that’s the complex thinking bit of the brain working) and you feel really chuffed to have made a decision, but then you get that uncomfortable feeling about getting started, the energy required to succeed or what you have to sacrifice along the road (that’s the emotional centre getting heard!).

Hang in there. I’ve got a brain-friendly fix to help your amygdala feel heard and help you move forward with being comfortably uncomfortable.

Take 2 minutes out from whatever you’re doing and just be still. Now focus your attention on your feelings. List them out one by one, either in your head, out loud or jot them down – whatever suits you. Simply acknowledge each of them like the face of an old friend passing by the window. You’ll notice how you can now concentrate on the action or task in hand, without further energy going to dealing with your emotions.

Getting comfortably uncomfortable is a key skill to acquire if you are going to make the shift you want in your life.  Try this technique out whenever you need to move past your emotions, to focus on whatever you’re doing.

Right before you go, answer these 2 for me in the comments:

  1. What’s your way to deal with feeling uncomfortable? (Biscuits or chocolate? Long runs? Call a mate?)
  2. How did your brain react to this acknowledgement technique?

If you’d like to try out more brain-friendly techniques to help you explore and achieve real change in your life, book a coaching session with me.

  • Grace • August 28, 2013

    1. Unnecessary banter/chat/noise. 2. Uh-oh…

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saying no – make space for change

August 14, 2013
inb-coach, b-mail
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Since 2008, I’ve been teaching Pilates, doing various learning and development roles, playing in a band, seeing friends, visiting places, learning new stuff, enjoying my wonderful partner, becoming a very proud godmother and more. Oh and building to going solo in 2013. It’s been a struggle trying to find a balance (hmmm note to self: get real, it still is at times!) and yes I’ve messed up, missed things and managed to both upset and please a few folks along the way.

The view from my desk :-)

The view from my desk 🙂

I want to stretch my life, just as you do. I want to enjoy every minute. I want lovely people in it, at work, at home and in play. I want more time by the seaside with the wind in my hair. I want two miniature dachshunds. AND I want to be a catalyst for others’ change and stretch to create the lives they want and deserve.

One of my big “a-ha” moments was to get focused. What is really important? What is helping me get where I want to be and what’s hindering me? (Let me know if you’re interested in my musings on the first two for future b-mails) I recognised I got one BIG blocker, my “yes” reflex is WAY stronger than my “no” reflex. After all saying “yes” is being generous with my time, talents and love, right?

It’s also a wonderful way to side track, dodge and postpone change. Jim Rohn also has a take on this: “If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.” Mine is to say “yes” at the expense of my own change.

So, I’m taking a stance – why not join me? – I’m laser focused and will be saying no to build, motivate and create positive change in my life and in others’. How? Good question.

First off, I’m going to hold off my “yes” and ask a question or two. Of myself – how much do I value this person and how could this fit into my picture?

By sense checking my response to my goals and moderating it against my relationships, I’m finding a way to make this decision in a way that fits my values (Notice in my big picture, people feature A LOT!) and keeps stretching my life.

I’m able to soften saying no by explaining the misfit to my laser focus and I’ve found those who respect and care for me, value my honesty. I still cheat sometimes and say yes and negotiate a different scope or timeline, but I keep trying. I want to stretch my life – and say yes to the work, fun and people that make it so brilliant!

Does this resonate with you? Are you reading this with a little voice saying “hey, I do that!”. Let’s build a list to help us all in saying no to get us where we want to be! How do you say no to make space for your change?

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I say “tomato”, you say “tomarto” – 4 steps to handling doubters

August 8, 2013
inb-coach, b-mail
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OK so who’s got it right? Me? Or you? When it comes to adding some stretch to your life, everyone has an opinion. I’m sure many simply want the best for you, wanting to investigate your thinking (did you think about ………?) or understand your motivation (You’ve got a great ……….., I think you ought to ……..), but somehow their delivery is a bit clumsy or inadvertently negative. I call them naysayers or doubters and they ruin your mojo! The snag is they may have some wisdom to share and you’ll be too busy tending to your ruffled feathers to hear it. Hmmm it’s not that easy dealing with naysayers.

Here’s my 4 steps to handle them with grace and positivity:

1) Repeat a mini mantra and breathe

Say/ write/ think “positive intent, terrible delivery” and breathe deeply. That should remove the “sting” of what was said.

2) Recognise their emotional hook and yours

We all have them. Maybe they’re speaking from regret at not following their dream or being burnt badly doing something similar? For you, perhaps your hook that it feels like someone hasn’t got your back, or they think you’re an idiot? Once you can see where you’re both coming from, you’ve got a chance to listen, absorb and open up to the conversation.

3) Listen hard and thank them for sharing with you

Don’t dismiss too early; you could be missing something. Listen, thank them and then engage all your curiosity. Check anything you’re not 100% sure you’ve understood through open questions, to encourage them to say more about their point of view. By asking questions, you hold back your reaction or opinion and give them the opportunity to clarify or evidence their point of view.

4) Ask them for their help and support

At the end of the day, whether you agree with them or not, one of the most effective ways to turn a naysayer into a cheerleader is to ask for their help in your change. For example, give them a specific task or role to play. I converted a doubter by asking them to be a sounding board for my business ideas; they feel they are contributing and keeping me safe plus I get a refreshingly honest take on a new b-mail topic, business partner or strategic direction. Priceless!

I seriously hope that you never need these 4 steps – if you do, best of luck and do report back in via the comments.

For any of you dealing with a super persistent naysayer or doubter, get in touch and we can explore via coaching some more techniques to move their thinking, change their approach or reduce their impact on you.

  • Sarae • August 23, 2013

    Howdy all, a small update: I thought you might also like to read how Nikki Elledge Brown, the Communication Stylist handles her public naysayer with style http://bit.ly/13WgXv9

  • Nikki Elledge Brown • September 24, 2013

    Great tips + beautiful site, Sarae! Thanks so much for the mention 🙂

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bingo – toned arms for the summer

August 1, 2013
inb-mail, b-Pilates
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No, not what my nan loves on holiday! But the unflattering name we give those wobbly bits under our upper arms. With summer finally here, I wanted to share a couple of quick fixes for beautiful, toned arms and shoulders. I’m going to focus on 3 muscles: bicep, tricep and deltoids. Make sure you have plenty of space around you and if possible, do these in front of a mirror to check you’ve got your arms in the right places. Let’s get started!

[rev_slider dw_combo]

 

The dumb waiter combo – Follow the mini-images above to crack this one. Imagine you’re holding a tray in front of you: elbows drawn down by your waist and bent at 90 degrees and your forearms supporting the “tray”. Now rotate your hands out to your sides to “drop” the tray and continue to move your arms up in an arc so you look like a giant T shape (e.g. arms stretched out at shoulder height either side, 90 degrees under your armpits). Flex your elbows to 90 degrees to become a giant fork (your arms are two prongs and your head a pea on the middle prong!) and draw the forearms together in front of you, as if you wanted to squeeze a beach ball in front of your face. Phew – halfway! Bring the arms back to the fork position, straighten your arms to the T shape and then draw your elbows down to your waist and finally, back to the tray position. You’re back at the start! Now repeat the whole cycle again (6 times min.) and add more reps or small weights, as you get stronger (try small water bottles or cans of beans).

The arm circle/pulse combo – I described the first part of this in an earlier b-mail, so assuming you’ve been practicing regularly; I’m going to add the next level of challenge. Stand in the T shape position and get ready to increase the burn! Making sure you’ve plenty of space between your ears and your shoulders, draw small controlled circles, moving from the shoulder joint – small being the key word here. Six in one direction, six in the other. Palm facing forward, pulse the whole arm forward a small amount – yes, it’s that word again, small – six times, turn palms backwards, six pulses backwards. Palms down, six downwards pulses. Last, you guessed it – palms up, six upwards. Got it? Repeat the full set of circles and pulses at least twice. Again, build more sets and add weights.

Why not add these to your morning and evening routines, to achieve beautiful toned arms that you’ll want to show off? While you wait for the shower to heat up or the kettle to boil or during the commercial break of your evening viewing….I’m confident you can find a few minutes each day to invest in sculpting your arms!

Give it a go and if you like the results you see or you want help getting it right, why not come along and try one of my classes to get the same success for your whole body!

How do you fit exercise into your hectic day? Let me know how you combine it into your day to inspire others’ practice.

  • Ritu | the lifester • August 5, 2013

    Love the animated Gif. nice one! xxoo Ritu

    • Sarae • August 7, 2013

      Just a hint of the bionic woman in it 🙂 More to follow on Pilates at the end of the summer!

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