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nourish me – 60 self-care activities

May 8, 2014
inb-coach, b-mail, b-Pilates, b-train
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Are you driven? Busy all the time? Squeezing in the last email or a quick clear up before bed. Multitasking is your way of life. Listening to your other half or kids, whilst eating your breakfast and drying your hair. Catching up on your TV viewing whilst ironing or doing your filing. Reading 3 books at once and hardly taking any of them in. Groceries arriving by delivery from a favourites list each week.

Sound familiar? Hmmmm how’s that working out for you? Do you find yourself brimming full of energy, bouncing out of bed ready and raring to get going with you day? Or perhaps you struggle to find the motivation and effort necessary to keep juggling all your tasks, responsibilities and your change actions.

Training programmes for elite sportspeople incorporate variety, focus AND recovery days, which include treats, relaxation and restorative activities. Bankers, hedge fund managers and city professionals are fitting in mindfulness practice into their hours at desks. Yoga pods and corporate fitness classes are popping up at workplaces near you……actually, what are you doing to build in some self-care into your life?

Nourishing yourself – body and mind – is key to achieving your life goals, building a career you love and relationships that count as well as maintaining your health and fitness.

I certainly notice when my self-care goes out the window. I’m grouchy and snappy due to a lack of proper sleep. My tummy bloats out ridiculously as I eat badly. My body feels heavy and doesn’t enjoy Pilates classes. I struggle to make decisions and easily distract myself from the task in hand.

So this week I’m pledging to add more self care into my life and nourish me. I’ve brainstormed a giant list of possible ways and challenge you to pick a few to add to your week.

  1. Take a walk or bike ride (fancy a challenge? Do it for charity – we’ve signed up here)
  2. Visit the beach
  3. A looooong bath at the end of the day
  4. Big green smoothies to start the day
  5. Finding overgrown grass and putting my bare feet in it
  6. Lying outside and staring up at the sky
  7. Cooking my favourite meal (tom kha soup with extra tofu a la Rosa’s)
  8. Get up early and watch the sunrise
  9. Read an inspirational book
  10. Re-read an old favourite
  11. Write a gratitude diary
  12. Play with my dogs (ok this one is future tense!)
  13. Snuggle up with someone dear
  14. Go somewhere new
  15. Try new things in general – food, activity, workspace
  16. Meditate
  17. Play music and do the kitchen dance (or invent your own family dance moves)
  18. Meet a friend
  19. Eat your 5 a day in fruit and veggies
  20. Be super present in the moment
  21. Get more sleep
  22. Stop multitasking
  23. Schedule me time everyday
  24. Do some sports – Pilates, yoga, gym class, run (Fancy these at your workplace? Arrange them with Sally at Stretching the City)
  25. Visit the hairdressers
  26. Paint your toes
  27. Get a really good sports massage (I recommend Physio in the City’s brilliant team)
  28. Bake a cake
  29. Paint or knit or sew
  30. Learn something new – do a class (try entheos)
  31. Set new personal limits for myself
  32. Indulge in a little retail therapy
  33. Enjoy my morning coffee or afternoon tea break
  34. Take a multivitamin and probiotic
  35. Ditch the lightbulbs and use candles for mood lighting
  36. Ditch the alarm clock
  37. Do a crossword or sudoku puzzle
  38. Buy a small box of expensive handmade chocolate
  39. See a movie
  40. Breath deeply
  41. Pick or buy some bright blooms
  42. Write a postcard or letter to your nan
  43. Plant herbs outside your windows
  44. Practice mindfulness
  45. Order a posh cocktail
  46. Let the wind blow through your hair
  47. Download eclectic playlists from Spotify
  48. See a band or orchestra play live
  49. Join a bookclub
  50. Dress up (inspiration – #StylemeMay via Dean Street Society)
  51. Laugh out loud
  52. Cry until your nose runs
  53. Take a hot shower
  54. Volunteer at a local charity
  55. Play being a tourist in your town, village or city
  56. Turn off all laptops, phones and ipads at least 60 minutes before bedtime
  57. Read the Sunday papers from cover to cover in bed
  58. See play or musical
  59. Download and display an inspirational poem, quote or image.
  60. Reading blogs from people who are honest and care about you (i.e. mine 🙂 )

Crikey – Think that gives me and you plenty to choose from and show ourselves more self-care.

Pick just a few and let me know in the comments what difference it makes to your life, your  head, your heart and your body this week. Or have you got another nourishment to add to the list? Pop it in the comments too.

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luck vs hard work

May 1, 2014
inb-mail
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One of the things I hear when people are having a difficult time of things, or they see someone else doing better with seemingly little effort, is

“Aren’t they lucky?”

I’m not sure I buy into that. I think it’s more a state of mind. One of optimism. Half glass full. Anything is possible.

If trying something is risking failure. If telling others your ambitions is opening yourself up to possible ridicule. If changing direction is potentially stepping in the poop. If taking action means that voice in your head has the opportunity to talk you down. I reckon it’s time to shift your mindset and perspective.

With all those negative messages running around your mind, it’s not luck you’re missing. It’s a spot of hard work to switch in new supportive, positive messages. Try these 7 Luck Rules for you:

  1. Learn what’s working well for you and what’s not. Only don’t just list them, unpick them – if you understand the why and the how, you will make your hard work pay off faster
  2. Wear a positive outward expression and posture. Smile more and stand tall to release those great hormones whilst reducing the stress inducing ones.
  3. Open your eyes to unexpected and unusual opportunities. Don’t get hung up on the perfect way, if another presents itself.
  4. Start before you’re ready. Waiting leads to procrastination and luck stepping out. Get moving and you’ll enjoy the effects….waheyyyy your ball is rolling!
  5. Bring others onboard. The road traveled with friends is always a better journey and they often bring good stuff with them, like more friends, snacks and advice.
  6. Know you have permission to do whatever it takes. Forget about seeking approval and acceptance – it will come along the way.
  7. Last one…..here’s the tough talk. Take responsibility for your actions. If you want it, work your butt off to get it.

So the buck stops here. None of these are easy. Nor are they luck vs hard work. Hard work generates luck.

How are you going to work hard and build more luck into your life? Do you have a Luck Rule to help us? Share them in the comments.

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spring clean for a simpler life

March 27, 2014
inb-coach
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This week is the first official week of spring. There are tulips, daffodils and crocuses galore out in the gardens, bobbing their heads towards that warm, bright sunshine. They’ve spent winter quietly gathering their strength, waiting for the temperature to rise and then…. BAM. A burst of energy and they shoot out of the soil, rising up to their full potential.

What I love about these flowers is they keep it simple. No fancy ruffles, heavy perfumes, or complex leaves. Just simple green leaves and a splash of eye catching, smile inducing colour.

With that in mind, I want to look at how you can keep life simple by ditching the clutter and adding bold accents.  First I’m going to chunk up your 24/7s and then I want you to prioritise where you need to spring clean for max impact.

1. Clean and prepare your Body and Mind

Over-busy, buzzing brain keeping you awake or stressing you out? Externalise your thinking, to-dos, appointments, emotions and so on to clear our your brain. Spring weather is here (ish!) and that means less clothing, so add in some toning exercises into your activities and start pampering your skin.

Top tip: Use your smart phone or tablet: I’m a big fan of Evernote for lists, things to remember, reminders and bookmarks and my voice memo dictation app for downloading the moans, groans hmms and aaahs – stopping my mind whirring all night and saving my partner’s ears.

Top tip: Buy two water bottles (one for each hand), fill up and work out. Drink half of each and keep going. Drink the rest to clear your skin and rehydrate your muscles. Then get your toes pampered and remove that winter hair – yes, you know what I mean 😉

2. Do more purposeful work and business

Sometimes, work gets you bogged down with meaningless tasks, desks covered in post-it notes with messages, chewed pens and piles of papers. Lift yourself up. Decide what adds value and balance your time across the have-tos and the want-tos.

Top tip: Use Stephen Covey’s Urgent/Important four box grid, explained here by Brian Johnson of Entheos Academy

Top tip:  Unusual strategies to balance the must-do with the want-to tasks with Michael Bungay Stainers’ Great Work Manifesto.

Top tip: Feel stuck in a rut? Seek out new opportunities within your role or organisation AND outside. Can you learn something new, volunteer at a school or charity and why not work with a coach to design your career or business expansion.

3. Re-energise in your free time

When life seems to be running away with you, it’s easy to push all your fun time stuff out of your diary to catch-up on work, chores or all that other stuff you can’t leave alone.

Top tip: Put a price on what you love to do. How much is the rest, relaxation or stress reduction worth to you in the midst of your spring? £10? £100? £1,000?  Imagine if you had bought a train/concert/flight ticket for that value, would you give it up so easily?

Top tip: Try something different and outside your norm. Go to a roller disco, visit an exhibition, cook and eat something new, try stand-up comedy or karaoke. Or booking into a retreat or pampering session.

4. Declutter your home and surroundings

Whether your abode is shabby chic vintage or minimalistic white, it needs to be somewhere you are comfortable and relaxed. That’s pretty hard when it’s messy, laundry hanging from the curtain rails, bills and statements stacked up on the dinner table, old clothes stuffed in the back of your wardrobe and drawers.

Top tip: Arrange a swapping party – invite your friends and colleagues to a themed swapping evening or afternoon. Everyone has to bring at least 5 items (clothes, shoes, bags, candlesticks, cookbooks, ornaments and knickknacks, whatever) and lay on some refreshments.

Top tip: Empty a clutter cupboard out one item at a time. Add them to one of 5 piles: gift (ie suitable for a specific friend), charity (donate to your favourite charity’s shop), recycle (fabric, cds, paper, shoes, etc.), trash (stuff beyond repair or passing on) and lastly, keep. Once done, go through the keep pile again and ask yourself “do I need this and do I want this?” Get a single “no” and the item needs to go on a different pile.

Your spring clean needs to be accompanied with a desire to change. To create space, time and the right mindset, you gotta keep the rest simple to avoid distraction and excuses. So roll up your sleeves, don your marigolds (or roller boots!) and get dirty to simplify your life for spring!

Which area do you need to focus on to create a simple, yet bold life this spring? How’re you going to tackle it? Share your plans in the comments.

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selling yourself short

March 20, 2014
inb-coach, b-mail, b-Pilates, b-train
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When I’m running out the door to a big day, I can guarantee my wonderful boy’s voice will be ringing in my ears saying “you rock the mostest” and when I get in, he’ll ask how things went. My typical answer goes a bit like this: “it was ok…..I forgot to say this bit…..I wish I’d do this that way….someone made this comment….but it was ok” and you know what his response is? “Sarae, you’re really great at what you do. I’m sure it was amaaaazing from your client’s/clients’ point of view”. Yep I drive him slightly mad selling myself short.

At networking or training events, I happily share my business purpose and the range of different services it encompasses. I’m far less comfortable saying my style is unique, my clients find real personal and professional benefits in working with me and I am worth way more than every pound or euro I charge.

Hmmmm why is that? It’s the truth. I do give my clients great, memorable, life enhancing experiences. You might challenge me and say I fear “being found out” or that I feel like an impostor. Yep, that could be a reason; it’s not mine (I genuinely believe I’m good at what I do and I love growing my abilities further). Or perhaps I’m a bit introverted or uncomfortable sharing things that are dear and important to me. Again, not my reasons.

For me, there’s this little voice that says nice people don’t show off or brag about themselves. Arrogance and inflated egos are real turn-offs to me and qualities I hope never to demonstrate.

I hear people selling themselves short fairly often. I’m left wondering do they even notice they’re doing it and what is it doing to their self esteem, belief and confidence. Do you find yourself doing this too? At work? On dates? At interviews? During appraisals? With friends or colleagues? Yikes. This could have a massive impact on you leading the life you want.

Here’s my way to marketing and selling yourself in a balanced, honest, authentic way:

1)     Answer these questions honestly:

  1. Your name (Are you’re a Rebecca, Bexs, Becky, Becca or even which with whom?)
  2. Your expertise (Mine are Coach, Trainer and Pilates Instructor)
  3. Your specialisms (I work with people who want to change their life for the better AND I do it in an energetic, empathetic way)
  4. Your unique factor (A story, example, fact or interesting “hook” to aid their memory or build their curiosity)
  5. Your “What’s in it for you” factor (why they should want to work/be/share/do with you)

2)     Now ask a few trusted friends, colleagues, mentors, clients…..anyone who’s opinion you respect…..to answer questions b-e for you without sharing yours first. (You can do this anonymously via online tools like typeform or survey monkey.)

3)     Compare both versions and spot any differences. (Yes you can cringe a little here if it helpsJ)

4)     Refine to create a version that accurate describes you in all your true glory.

5)     Then get out there and use it, share it, upload it, say it with a smile, your shoulders back and head held high.

You might take this to form a verbal introduction (elevator or 60 second pitch) or your summary and headline on LinkedIn. You might discover the keywords for your SEO or your tag line. Another approach to this outside of work and business, could be to tweak the above questions for a online dating profile. Switching b and c to:

  1. Your best qualities and personality traits
  2. Your favourite activities

This week, listen out and try to catch when you sell yourself short. Does it happen in similar situations or is it a consistent “thing” for you? Try out the little exercise and share in the comments your new approach to marketing yourself without selling yourself short.

If you know someone who does this and you want to help them, please feel free to share this page with them.

  • Robert • April 14, 2014

    Love the simple approach to create clarity in the mind of the coach/trainer about what they do and how they go about it, thank you for sharing.

  • Sarae • April 14, 2014

    Happy to help – works for all sorts of peeps. Ask your clients, coachees or participants to do it as a homework inquiry piece – changes mindsets, changes their frame of reference and gives new evidence to a belief.

  • Daniela • September 25, 2014

    Not going to lie…really love the pic on this post. Haha 🙂 And the message it really helpful. I like the part about the hook….

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such a perfect day – design yours here

March 13, 2014
inb-coach, b-mail
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An interactive b-mail today to help you create your perfect day – download this little doc and get creative to fill in the blanks.

But why? I hear you ask. Well, it’s a fun, playful thing to do – who doesn’t want to dream up a perfect day? More seriously, it’s a visioning exercise to help you identify what life would be like if you shaped it around all the most important, valued people, activities, exercise and nourishments.

Got 10 minutes now? Great. Download, print, grab your coloured pens, settle into a comfy place with a drink at hand and get filling in.

Download your visioning sheet here

Wow! What a perfect day indeed. Go you!

My challenge to you is how are you going to achieve some or all of that day in reality? Can you bring a little of that joy into your “normal” day or can you take time out and schedule the whole day? Let us know in the comments:

  • how you design your day – you could inspire others
  • how you are going to achieve it

Or do you need to make a bigger shift, change or stretch to live your perfect day? You’re talking to the right girl – this is exactly what I coach on: enabling you to lead a purposeful, joyful and enriching life. Drop me a line and we can get started 🙂

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