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comfortably uncomfortable – your brain’s reaction to change

August 22, 2013
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This was a phrase I’ve picked up from an innovation trainer. He said, “to unlearn old ways of thinking and learn new ones, you need to get comfortably uncomfortable.” I had to ponder this one. We’ve all heard the statement about when you step outside your comfort zone, that’s where you really grow. Yet we rarely hear about how that can make us feel. Somehow this new description really grabs me – doing something new or different to your norms can really make you feel a touch anxious or scared.

Why does this happen? The part of your brain for complex thinking is called the prefrontal cortex and sits just behind your forehead. It is accessed via the amygdala, the emotional centre. Let’s look at an example – you decide to try a new fitness plan or start a new course or take a new job (that’s the complex thinking bit of the brain working) and you feel really chuffed to have made a decision, but then you get that uncomfortable feeling about getting started, the energy required to succeed or what you have to sacrifice along the road (that’s the emotional centre getting heard!).

Hang in there. I’ve got a brain-friendly fix to help your amygdala feel heard and help you move forward with being comfortably uncomfortable.

Take 2 minutes out from whatever you’re doing and just be still. Now focus your attention on your feelings. List them out one by one, either in your head, out loud or jot them down – whatever suits you. Simply acknowledge each of them like the face of an old friend passing by the window. You’ll notice how you can now concentrate on the action or task in hand, without further energy going to dealing with your emotions.

Getting comfortably uncomfortable is a key skill to acquire if you are going to make the shift you want in your life.  Try this technique out whenever you need to move past your emotions, to focus on whatever you’re doing.

Right before you go, answer these 2 for me in the comments:

  1. What’s your way to deal with feeling uncomfortable? (Biscuits or chocolate? Long runs? Call a mate?)
  2. How did your brain react to this acknowledgement technique?

If you’d like to try out more brain-friendly techniques to help you explore and achieve real change in your life, book a coaching session with me.

  • Grace • August 28, 2013

    1. Unnecessary banter/chat/noise. 2. Uh-oh…

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lost your voice?

July 25, 2013
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Last week, I wrote about purpose and personality making a compelling, inspiring message (Missed it? No worries – it’s here) and I’ve worked with some great people, who on paper have the content cracked and can blow you away with their passion for the topic. Yet when it comes to being in front of a sea of faces or that key decision maker, something gobbles up their confidence and they fail to convey their message.

I know I’ve done it – my first presentation at London Business School in front of my stakeholders and my wider team and I REALLY wanted to impress. I was all clued up on my purpose, my notes printed out and was all set. But when I started I heard this wobbly voice and someone gasping for air. ECK! That’s not me nor what I’m known for – I am an engaging, energising speaker.

I took a deep breath and announced my purpose – pause – more air and I set out my stall of great, pragmatic content including why I believed in it. I asked the audience if they’d find it valuable. I watched a few heads nod and heard a few mumble “yes”.

How was I able to do this? I had socialised my summary (aka my introduction) with a number of people – firstly, to check relevancy and style and secondly, to rehearse saying it out loud without the pressure of the moment. Once the former was cracked, the latter gave me chance to build muscle memory in my brain and tongue – the same as a sprinter will break down each part of their race into components and repeat each piece numerous times, great speakers breakdown their message and repeat it.  Each repetition builds a stronger memory in the brain and the operating muscle group (legs for an explosive start or the mouth and mouth for a speaker).

Having delivered to conference halls of 4,000+ and senior management, I have a wealth of experience, techniques and tools to share on public speaking. I can also draw upon my studies of anatomy and physiology to manage your energy and nerves to increase your success.You may have heard the mantra of “rehearse, rehearse, rehearse” and been recommended to deliver to a mirror or video camera, which can be really powerful and really unnatural.

get heard post image

Try my mini rehearsal technique – say it and say it often. Discuss your message and purpose with others and you’ll build a fluidity and familiarity, which will help you deliver with confidence and passion. Plus you gain support, encouragement and more energy for your message along the way. For the Win!!

What’s your favourite way to prepare ahead of your big moment? Share them in the comments please!

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did you get the message?

July 18, 2013
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I love getting my weekly dose of TED video talks on the amazing, inspiring and sometimes downright weird from around the world. Whilst I may never travel to the moon or the Amazon basin, nor am I likely to be involved in technological advances for disease treatments and cures, I do watch in awe of how brilliant the speakers are and ponder what’s the magic ingredient making them so darn compelling and engaging.

I think it’s 2 things – both of which we can all make use of; from our 1 to 1 conversations, to the largest presentation in an overflowing auditorium.

The first is to define your purpose. For me, this is the combination of 3 things: why is this message important to this person(s), what do I want them to feel about it and what do I want them to do as a result. Combining these will help you shape your communication style, your choice of words and pick the right time and environment.

Now, number two in my head should come easy, but I know I sometimes struggle with it when I get a touch overwhelmed by the occasion. It’s about injecting a bit of yourself – why is it important to me and why do I believe in my message. By this, I mean not only sharing your brilliant logic, research, evidence and the like with them; I mean add in your emotion, passion, energy and personality to make the message really be heard.

You might say “Sarae, I get the purpose bit alright, but I need to come across as a professional here!”. I couldn’t agree more and I’d suggest you’d be a much more interesting professional to work with, learn from, debate with and support if you shared a bit more of your heart and soul.

If you’re interested in learning more about purpose and the idea of logic and emotion in your comms, give me a shout as I often train corporate teams on this in short and longer format sessions.

Can you think of someone who’s able to get you nodding along with them and eager to take action? Share their magic ingredient in the comments, so we can all learn a new one!

PS next week, get the second part of getting your message heard!

  • Ritu • July 23, 2013

    This post made me think… “do I have my message clear in my own head?” I think I’m a bit fuzzy right now to be honest. Great post! Thanks for that! xxoo Ritu

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when I grow up I’m gonna be a…….

June 13, 2013
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Hairdresser? Lorry Driver? Occupational Therapist? Vulcanologist? At some stage, I went through a phase of all of these. I was an engineer for a while, before my wonderful manager recognised my skills in setting a direction, bringing people on board with my ideas and getting stuff done. He pushed me into a new career path, asking me some tough questions, pushing a few buttons and finding me an unusual next step. From then on, my passion has been helping others achieve their goals.

As time’s gone by, this has changed from in-house HR and training roles, serving the wishes of bosses, to working independently with individuals, leaders and teams, who are looking at how they grow, shape and make the future brighter.

One of my favourite coaching topics is the “I wanna be a…….ermmm I’m no longer really sure anymore.” dilemma. The subjects we choose at school and university often shape up into a certain career path and for some that really works out well. If you’re like me (and many others), it’s not until later that with a bit of life under your belt, you realise this isn’t what you signed up for or it’s not making use of your true talents.

So now I’m all grown up and can proudly say I’m a coach, trainer and Pilates Instructor – yep I can help you stretch your body, brain and life into that new shape you’re seeking. Drop me a line to start your next big adventure.

Share in the comments below; what did you want to be and how’d it work out?

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to b or not to b……

June 6, 2013
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Hmm well that really is the question. If you’re reading this, like me you probably want to change things up, add a little spice, find some new spark to get you re-invigorated and are ready for your next big thing. You’re no longer not to b – now you’re got to b.

For about 3 or 4 years, I harboured a dirty little secret – I loved what I did as a job, yet I kinda hankered to do it my way. But the fear of going it alone, paying my bills, what others might think and so on all kept me running the corporate treadmill.

I began a steady exit out of the corporate front door and into working for myself. I enrolled on various Pilates courses and now work with clients seeking to change their bodies. I wrap up my motivational, empathetic coaching style, a knack for problem solving and get them active. Within weeks, they are smiling and moving more freely with less pain.

These same skills also enable me to work as a career and life coach. Jumping ships, breaking the glass ceilings or returning after a break, I’ve helped clients build business cases, confidence and more to gain their desired results. Experience in the UK and overseas in a wide variety of business fields gives me a wealth to draw from and help interpret how best to support you.

So I’ve made the move out of the corporate world – yes I still have bills to pay, but I absolutely love working with people to achieve their dreams and passions in my own unique way.

Are you ready to b? If so, get in touch and let me add some stretch to your life – I’m here to help.

What’s your dirty little secret? What do you hanker to do? And what stops you taking action? Let me know in the comments below.

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