b-elastic Menu

b-mail

Permalink:

luck vs hard work

May 1, 2014
inb-mail
• Leave a comment

One of the things I hear when people are having a difficult time of things, or they see someone else doing better with seemingly little effort, is

“Aren’t they lucky?”

I’m not sure I buy into that. I think it’s more a state of mind. One of optimism. Half glass full. Anything is possible.

If trying something is risking failure. If telling others your ambitions is opening yourself up to possible ridicule. If changing direction is potentially stepping in the poop. If taking action means that voice in your head has the opportunity to talk you down. I reckon it’s time to shift your mindset and perspective.

With all those negative messages running around your mind, it’s not luck you’re missing. It’s a spot of hard work to switch in new supportive, positive messages. Try these 7 Luck Rules for you:

  1. Learn what’s working well for you and what’s not. Only don’t just list them, unpick them – if you understand the why and the how, you will make your hard work pay off faster
  2. Wear a positive outward expression and posture. Smile more and stand tall to release those great hormones whilst reducing the stress inducing ones.
  3. Open your eyes to unexpected and unusual opportunities. Don’t get hung up on the perfect way, if another presents itself.
  4. Start before you’re ready. Waiting leads to procrastination and luck stepping out. Get moving and you’ll enjoy the effects….waheyyyy your ball is rolling!
  5. Bring others onboard. The road traveled with friends is always a better journey and they often bring good stuff with them, like more friends, snacks and advice.
  6. Know you have permission to do whatever it takes. Forget about seeking approval and acceptance – it will come along the way.
  7. Last one…..here’s the tough talk. Take responsibility for your actions. If you want it, work your butt off to get it.

So the buck stops here. None of these are easy. Nor are they luck vs hard work. Hard work generates luck.

How are you going to work hard and build more luck into your life? Do you have a Luck Rule to help us? Share them in the comments.

  • Thanks for leaving a comment, please keep it clean. HTML allowed is strong, code and a href.

    Comment moderation is enabled, no need to resubmit any comments posted.

Permalink:

selling yourself short

March 20, 2014
inb-coach, b-mail, b-Pilates, b-train
• Leave a comment

When I’m running out the door to a big day, I can guarantee my wonderful boy’s voice will be ringing in my ears saying “you rock the mostest” and when I get in, he’ll ask how things went. My typical answer goes a bit like this: “it was ok…..I forgot to say this bit…..I wish I’d do this that way….someone made this comment….but it was ok” and you know what his response is? “Sarae, you’re really great at what you do. I’m sure it was amaaaazing from your client’s/clients’ point of view”. Yep I drive him slightly mad selling myself short.

At networking or training events, I happily share my business purpose and the range of different services it encompasses. I’m far less comfortable saying my style is unique, my clients find real personal and professional benefits in working with me and I am worth way more than every pound or euro I charge.

Hmmmm why is that? It’s the truth. I do give my clients great, memorable, life enhancing experiences. You might challenge me and say I fear “being found out” or that I feel like an impostor. Yep, that could be a reason; it’s not mine (I genuinely believe I’m good at what I do and I love growing my abilities further). Or perhaps I’m a bit introverted or uncomfortable sharing things that are dear and important to me. Again, not my reasons.

For me, there’s this little voice that says nice people don’t show off or brag about themselves. Arrogance and inflated egos are real turn-offs to me and qualities I hope never to demonstrate.

I hear people selling themselves short fairly often. I’m left wondering do they even notice they’re doing it and what is it doing to their self esteem, belief and confidence. Do you find yourself doing this too? At work? On dates? At interviews? During appraisals? With friends or colleagues? Yikes. This could have a massive impact on you leading the life you want.

Here’s my way to marketing and selling yourself in a balanced, honest, authentic way:

1)     Answer these questions honestly:

  1. Your name (Are you’re a Rebecca, Bexs, Becky, Becca or even which with whom?)
  2. Your expertise (Mine are Coach, Trainer and Pilates Instructor)
  3. Your specialisms (I work with people who want to change their life for the better AND I do it in an energetic, empathetic way)
  4. Your unique factor (A story, example, fact or interesting “hook” to aid their memory or build their curiosity)
  5. Your “What’s in it for you” factor (why they should want to work/be/share/do with you)

2)     Now ask a few trusted friends, colleagues, mentors, clients…..anyone who’s opinion you respect…..to answer questions b-e for you without sharing yours first. (You can do this anonymously via online tools like typeform or survey monkey.)

3)     Compare both versions and spot any differences. (Yes you can cringe a little here if it helpsJ)

4)     Refine to create a version that accurate describes you in all your true glory.

5)     Then get out there and use it, share it, upload it, say it with a smile, your shoulders back and head held high.

You might take this to form a verbal introduction (elevator or 60 second pitch) or your summary and headline on LinkedIn. You might discover the keywords for your SEO or your tag line. Another approach to this outside of work and business, could be to tweak the above questions for a online dating profile. Switching b and c to:

  1. Your best qualities and personality traits
  2. Your favourite activities

This week, listen out and try to catch when you sell yourself short. Does it happen in similar situations or is it a consistent “thing” for you? Try out the little exercise and share in the comments your new approach to marketing yourself without selling yourself short.

If you know someone who does this and you want to help them, please feel free to share this page with them.

  • Robert • April 14, 2014

    Love the simple approach to create clarity in the mind of the coach/trainer about what they do and how they go about it, thank you for sharing.

  • Sarae • April 14, 2014

    Happy to help – works for all sorts of peeps. Ask your clients, coachees or participants to do it as a homework inquiry piece – changes mindsets, changes their frame of reference and gives new evidence to a belief.

  • Daniela • September 25, 2014

    Not going to lie…really love the pic on this post. Haha 🙂 And the message it really helpful. I like the part about the hook….

  • Thanks for leaving a comment, please keep it clean. HTML allowed is strong, code and a href.

    Comment moderation is enabled, no need to resubmit any comments posted.

Permalink:

such a perfect day – design yours here

March 13, 2014
inb-coach, b-mail
• Leave a comment

An interactive b-mail today to help you create your perfect day – download this little doc and get creative to fill in the blanks.

But why? I hear you ask. Well, it’s a fun, playful thing to do – who doesn’t want to dream up a perfect day? More seriously, it’s a visioning exercise to help you identify what life would be like if you shaped it around all the most important, valued people, activities, exercise and nourishments.

Got 10 minutes now? Great. Download, print, grab your coloured pens, settle into a comfy place with a drink at hand and get filling in.

Download your visioning sheet here

Wow! What a perfect day indeed. Go you!

My challenge to you is how are you going to achieve some or all of that day in reality? Can you bring a little of that joy into your “normal” day or can you take time out and schedule the whole day? Let us know in the comments:

  • how you design your day – you could inspire others
  • how you are going to achieve it

Or do you need to make a bigger shift, change or stretch to live your perfect day? You’re talking to the right girl – this is exactly what I coach on: enabling you to lead a purposeful, joyful and enriching life. Drop me a line and we can get started 🙂

  • Thanks for leaving a comment, please keep it clean. HTML allowed is strong, code and a href.

    Comment moderation is enabled, no need to resubmit any comments posted.

Permalink:

my pet peeve: are you committing it?

March 6, 2014
inb-mail, b-Pilates
• Leave a comment

I know we all have one or (two 🙂 ). Mine happens every day, in all sorts of places. The coffee queue, as I’m waiting to be served. Travelling on the tube. Out for a bike ride with my boy (aka the pilot of our tandem). Walking down the street minding my own business. Listening to a speaker at a conference or event. Out to dinner with friends. Seriously annoying.

And the worst thing is the people doing it don’t even know or if they do, they just don’t care. So why do I?

Because I am a Pilates Teacher on a mission to improve your posture.

I say no to rounded shoulders. No to chin juts. No to flat backs. No to slouching. No to pot bellies and tailbones in the air.

NO TO MY PET PEEVE, BAD POSTURE.

The first thing I do with any new client is to ask them to stand up as if they were waiting for a bus or lift. This gives me my first impression of their posture. We then work together to bring their body into “standing neutral” in Pilates terms or as you might say perfect posture. Their first reactions are always “Wow, this feels weird”.

posture

It does feel weird, as your body has gotten used to its habitual way of standing, which has developed from years of use, lifestyle and workplace norms. Did you know reading your smartphone or tablet, combined with hours bent over a keyboard or eating off your lap can all add up to poor shoulder posture? Or that end of the catwalk model pose with your weight on one leg, hip thrown out to the side can give you back issues?

Ok, it’s time for you to stop committing my pet peeve and sort your posture out.

  • Start at your feet – they should be hip joint width apart. That’s approximately the width of your fist with your thumb knuckle sticking out.
  • Knees are soft and slightly bent – this lets them act as shock absorbers as you move.
  • Moving on up to your pelvis. Place your hands on your lower tummy in a diamond shape, heels of your hand on your hipbones, finger tips pointing down to your public bone and thumbs to your belly button. Roll your pelvis forwards and backwards until you find the position where your thumbs are directly above your finger tips making a vertical plane with your hands.
  • Make sure your ribs are directly on top of your hips and you’re drawing in your chest – no popping your boobs/pecs in our faces. Save that for special occasions.
  • Draw your shoulder blades gently together to open up the collarbone area
  • Your arms and hands should now hang loosely by the side of your body with your palms facing the seams of your trousers.
  • Place your first finger on your chin and pull your chin away from it a fraction.

To hold it all in place, you will need to engage your core (ha ha you’ve never heard me say that before!) – lightly squeeze your lower abs under your hand diamond and nip in your waist like putting on a fresh pair of favourite jeans.

Oh I feel better already. You know my pet peeve and how to avoid committing it in front of me.

That said, I’ve got two questions for you:

1) Do you struggle with your posture? If yes, book into a class with me. Either at Physio in the City (near Bank and Monument tube stations), Cadence Performance (Crystal Palace) or treat your team and book a corporate class via Stretching the City.

2) What’s your pet peeve and how can we avoid committing it? Tell us in the comments and brownie guide promise to stop doing it!

  • Daniela • March 6, 2014

    What is a brownie guide promise? haha…this foreigner has no idea. But I do know that attending your pilates class at Physio in the City has DRAMATICALLY improved by posture. My doc just told me last week that she can see a difference.

    But I still have a long way to go. So I pinky promise, brownie guide promise and cross my heart promise that I will be mindful of my posture.

  • Sarae • March 9, 2014

    I love it – I accept your pinky brownie colourful heartfelt promise 😀

    And that folks, is why I am so passionate about Pilates: it makes a REAL difference

  • Robert • March 6, 2014

    I love the fact that reading your post got me sitting up properly in my chair 🙂

  • Sarae • March 9, 2014

    Happy to help – should also get you standing a bit taller on your stage and a bit more air in your lungs to get your voice to the back of the room!

  • Thanks for leaving a comment, please keep it clean. HTML allowed is strong, code and a href.

    Comment moderation is enabled, no need to resubmit any comments posted.

Permalink:

invest in yourself without breaking the bank

February 27, 2014
inb-coach, b-mail, b-train
• Leave a comment

You know that dream life you want? Or the career move or switch you’re itching to make? Or maybe you’re after changing up your fitness to a whole new level. I bet part of your prep includes a course, workshop or expensive textbook. Right?

I want to prove that gaining new knowledge and skills doesn’t have to break the bank. It is time to invest in yourself and we won’t be spending more than £15 for any one suggestion!

Yes, tailored bespoke learning events with a top guru, expert or school are fabulous in lots of ways, but I totally recognise sometimes, the upfront costs can be prohibitive. So here’s my go-to places:

Google

Yep sad but true. Most things are Googleable. And what’s cool is the related searches at the bottom of your page. These give you a little insight into what other people search for that was similar to your search. Use them to get more specific, discover something new and to check out a tangent.

Online Videos

Ok, I’m going to say the obvious – Youtube – and rapidly move on, after saying check out your rolemodels or muses as many have vlogs (video blogs) with great content. Less obvious…..my favourites include:

No such thing as a stupid question here. Someone will have answered it. From plaiting your hair to fixing your computer back-up issues….your bases are firmly covered.

Free Training

Often found in small doses when you opt into someone’s mailing list, as well as devoted websites. My career ones include:

The Muse 

Apart from some great and entertaining content, The Muse provides a series of career related mini training classes. Signing up and getting going is easy.

Coursera

Probably the biggest online school to date. Here you’ll find many of the major international Business Schools, plus some smaller specialist schools, handing out the goodies for free. From computing to film, food to science – you can take a class in pretty much anything! (Some even result in a certification for a small fee!)

Entheos

The site describes itself as “the secret sauce to creating an extraordinary life” and is lead by husband and wife team, Brian and Alexandra Jaye Johnson. Their programme range includes health and wellbeing, mindset shifting, relationships, finances, meditation and yoga, and more – all taught by leading figures in their respective fields. Annual membership is just $8 (less than £5 or €6) or you can apply for a scholarship for fee free access. In addition, they also run virtual conferences and downloadable, guided meditations, called “Blissiations”.

Lynda

Slightly more techy, Lynda offers a range of free and paid for training sessions and courses. Great if you want to develop your online profile with a webpage or adapt an existing site or perhaps you’re looking for a career management session?

Read all about it

Join your local library and access a wealth of free knowledge. Top books for your bedside, kindle or ibooks app (I’ve included the Amazon link for ease and speed):

The Escape Manifesto

Amazon Link

The review starts: “life is short; you only have one chance to live a great one. Be brave and start something you love.” Enough said in my mind. Read it and get out of your rut.

Do more great work

Amazon Link

By the lovely and funny Michael Bungay Stanier (who also has an accompanying inbox friendly course). His premise is that if we identify the time and energy drains and focus on the things we consider to be truly great and life value adding, we’ll be happier, better peeps.  Think about it, we all do mundane “day to day” stuff, when our time could be spent more productively on amazing life and world changing wonders!

And a real favourite of mine…

Brain Rules

Amazon Link

This book is brought to life via John Medina’s excellent, informative, yet witty, videos. 12 principles we can all do to create a thriving life. (He also has one for parents to inform how you help your baby develop)

Meet people

Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, there is a networking opportunity for you. I like these two sites to hunt down great events to join: http://www.meetup.com/ or https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/

Why not search out likeminded groups or clubs on Facebook or Twitter? You can like or follow along, waiting until you’re comfortable to join the debate.

Make this your week to invest in yourself  and gain new knowledge and skills and start to inform your change for minimum cash. Give us a shout out in the comments of what you’re going to do and let us know how it goes!

  • Thanks for leaving a comment, please keep it clean. HTML allowed is strong, code and a href.

    Comment moderation is enabled, no need to resubmit any comments posted.